JaxBeachHippie

Alright, Ladies, I’m not going to dilly-dally around for you, and I don’t care if I hurt your feelings! If you can finish this article; I am quite positive it will change your life. If you think that God gave you that “Lady-biscuit” to keep to yourself, you are Wrong! 

What you ladies don’t do with that beautiful lady brain when it comes to men and the so, so easy task of keeping them, is USE IT. They aren’t trying to annoy you, think of an animal when it comes to sex. You have all the power, and they know it, right in that “love- button” between your legs! Listen to me Sex kitten keeping them so, very happy is easier than you think. 

So, you want to know what to do with that insatiable horny monster of yours?

SUCK HIS DICK! Like seriously women, WTF. Fellatio is the easiest, most selfless act you can do for your hot hunka-hunka burning love. It really is as simple as 1,2,3.

1. FUCK HIM (Honestly, girl you know it doesn’t take that long)
2. FEED HIM (treat your man, WOMAN)
3. be FAIR. (Mind games, manipulation, cold-shoulder, cat and mouse, money-grubbing, tit for tat, waiting games, BULLSHIT is ridiculous. 

Seriously, at what part of your life are you going to wake up and smell the pheromones!

Going back to #3 in the above text. Let’s break it down; shall we.

Men, for the most part are very docile, and easy to train; creatures of habit. They are not sitting over there pondering the fate of mankind; like seriously, if you look over and your man looks like he is contemplating space-time continuum. I guarantee you he’s thinking about sex, making a sandwich, or how to finish the last level of his video game; 99% of the time that is exactly what he is doing.

We, lady-birds are overanalyzing everything. I am in no way diminishing Men’s Intelligence. I am only passing my knowledge on to you. Men work HARD; They want to be appreciated for that. Tell them you appreciate them, tell them you respect them, show them you respect them. Believe me it matters. When Men come home from work, do you think they want to have a 90-minute conversation about Karen, and how she ruined your day? NO! I don’t want to either. Call your gossip girl on the way home and get that shit out of your system before you get there. 

I am just going to tell you right now; I love sex. I hit my sexual prime at 25 and never came down. I think partly why I have such a high sex drive is 1.) I never faked it and, 2.) because I am naturally curious. 

Ladies! Do not deprive your “pink canoe”, a ride down the waterfall. Orgasms are amazing and you should never fake them and give a man a false sense of security! That’s on you butterfly! If he doesn’t want to take direction from you; then you are the DJ, get that BPM up and Auto-tune that “flaming-taco” yourself. Believe me, they don’t want to disappoint you and some get embarrassed; especially if you have the hard task of telling them they have been doing it wrong. Sex should be fun, frisky, exciting, and ORGASMIC for you both! Learn to LOVE the D! So, open the door to the “cave of wonders” and let him in!

I am going to be brutally honest with you. When I am canoodling with a hedonistic pleasure-seeker like myself it is amazing, incredible, and fantastic for us both. It doesn’t always come naturally, but, if you put in the effort it will be the key to a satisfying, mutually loving relationship. Believe what you want a healthy, loving commited relationship doesn’t run off of sunshine and rainbows!  I will encourage you to be honest if you don’t enjoy sex, if you put in the effort and fix it that will change. If you don’t want to please one another and you don’t want sex something is horribly broken. Fix it or move on! 

I have a way different outlook when it comes to men than most women, I believe because I was a Daddy’s girl and my first three siblings were boys. It gave me a birds-eye view of the man-brain. I would hear the fights and the carnage after with my brothers wondering “what the hell?” You saucy vixens have no idea how many times your man asks himself that. Going back to my #3 point. Don’t overthink or analyze every single oversight, quiet moment, or delayed text. More often than naught there is a plausible explanation, and catch this ladies “It’s true”.  I am telling you unless you have already pushed them to the limit and caused them to step out of line. It’s not that serious; Lighten up Princess. 

If you happen to have a Bad-guy just listen up; THEY DON’T CHANGE! EVER! NOT ONCE should you TOLERATE being hit! Move on and cut your loss. RANT OVER.

So I will leave you with my lifelong routine and you can use it or you can live a lifetime of subpar affection. Mediocrity is unacceptable. 

Morning sex is a necessity. Give him a blowie or a quickie, and send him off to conquer the world with a smile on his face. Trust me, he will think of you all day. Lunchtime, if you can swing it; put that “Honey-pot” out for a quick dip. Now, when you get home from work and they are playing their guitar or video games just think, if you were sitting in zen, getting a massage or pedicure and someone comes in squawking like a Pterodactyl and screwing it up; You would be pissed. Well, guess what cupcake; that is exactly what you just did to him. 

Everyone needs to come down from their day; Adulting is hard!

Once you guys decide on dinner without the 2 hours of “I don’t know, what do you want” BS. Now, have about a 15-minute conversation with highlights of your day. Clean up, Snuggle, watch a movie, Steal some kisses. BTW, NEVER, EVER STOP KISSING. Like seriously, why would you? That is the most intimate part of feelings, emotion, and real connection. 

Now, go to bed, make out get the juices flowing. Women are self-lubricating and contrary to popular belief your Orgasm is only as good as the fourplay. So, if you want your world rocked DEMAND IT. Stop copping out and faking. Your body will thank you and will be a well-oiled geyser with mountainous eruptions. Trust me you get what you give, LADY. That “kitty” wants to play and you should learn exactly how to satisfy it. This is where your efforts should pay off, remember “NO LICKY, NO STICKY” I never meant for you to be the only GIVER. Believe me there will be some frustration if you truly haven’t put in the effort, and there maybe awkward moments.  With a long-term relationship, it only gets better once both your bodies know how to work together. 

I promise you if you apply those 3 simple tasks to your relationship your hearts will be beating in unison and your Orgasms will be multiple! Now take that “little red wagon” out for a ride. Take your time, learn each other, and don’t stop until your toes are wiggling. Cheers! 3x challenge then skies the limit!!